Erika's Thoughts

Its a BOY!   So on to coming up with a name. Of course I had a name picked out for a girl. But gutt was telling me this was a girl. After the ultrasound its most definately NOT a girl!

So. Some names Sean and I have come up with, and will keep a running list as we come up with more. We want to keep John in the name somewhere. Its a tradition on his fathers side and my fathers side. I would very much like to keep the tradition going.

• Rowan John Broome (or RJ)
• John Rowan Broome (or JR)
• Sean Payton Broome (Payton)
• John Payton Broome (Payton)

Its been awhile since I’ve been able to sit down and give an update. Between work, the new apartment, life and everything else in between its been hard to have a few moments for updates.  Yes, I did mention a new apartment. Ironically enough, right after my apartment flooded, a 2 bedroom apartment opened up in the same complex that I am in. This place is HUGE. Its about the size of a large townhouse. Huge kitchen/Dining area, the living room also has an additional dining area. 2 large bedrooms upstairs, lots of closet space, a garage and a small deck. It truly is a nice place here. I’m loving all the room.

For the baby updates. Nothing much to really mention I’m afraid. Everything is going well so far. I finally hit my second trimester. Outside of having some weird eating habits and massive weight gain, there really isn’t much to report. I had a checkup 4 weeks ago. The baby was so active at that time already, that they had a hard time getting an accurate fetal heartrate. The baby kept moving around lol. I go in for another checkup next week. This time we get to see the baby again. I’m excited about it.  But so far no morning sickness.  I don’t seem to have much of an appetite at night. So I really don’t eat. In the morning I crave McDonald’s hashbrowns. So I get the 2 for $1 in the morning. It does a better job of keeping things “moving” then the Bran and fiber! I usually also have a bowl of cereal in the morning too. Lunch is whatever. I try to keep it healthy, but sometimes my cravings for other things takes over. I really just follow my cravings.  I can’t seem to eat red meat either. It makes me sick. I DO have a problem with that!

Now for some bad news. During my last checkup they did an anual PAP and exam. Yeah, the fun stuff. Well wouldn’t you know the PAP came back abnormal. So I have to go in for a biopsy on the 7th. Not fun at all. This was exactly what I went through when I had the cervical cancer.  This time around it could be so many things. So if I manage to make it through the biopsy we will see what happens from there.

It was so nice to see blue sky and the sun yesterday. Now its another gloomy rainy day. I’m so tired of rain. The dogs are getting cabin fever because I can’t let them out to run without bringing back two mud puppies.

Not alot is going on. It actually sounds weird to say that because it seems like a ton is going on lately. But nothing major to report for today. I’ve been getting a bit sick to my stomach at times. I’ve also been eating like a horse!  I kinda like this eating for two! I”m just not going to like it after the two is back to one!  After a slight change in plans, Sean will be going to the doctors with me on Fri to hear the heartbeat. I think this will really make it sink in as to how real all this is.  I’m still in a state of shock. It just doesn’t seem real at all. I feel like I’m someone else right now. So many thoughts running through my head. I joke around and tell everyone that I”m not sure what suprises me the most. The fact that I’m pregnant, or the fact that I”m happy about it!  None of it seems real.

Anyway, back to work for me. The boss isn’t here today so everything has been crazy.

I really wish I could have grabbed a picture of the enormous spider that was prowling the hallway. This thing was quite large.  I’m sure watching me trying to catch the thing to put it outside was quite amusing too.  The apartment is currently loaded with spiders of all sizes. Along with some other long fuzzy bug that has a million legs.  So far only a few stink bugs. Thankfully.

Nothing to really report on the pregnancy. I’m having insomnia issues at the moment. I don’t seem to have any issues falling asleep. Its staying asleep that seems to be the issue. Its a bit frustrating.  No major morning sickness. I do get a bit queesy here and there. But I think its the vitamins doing it. Even if I eat something before I take them. I seem to get a bit sick after I take it. Clothes aren’t fitting due to the bloating too. So much fun. Oh, and my face is breaking out so badly.

The weather is crappy. I’m sick of rain. Its been humid. When is the nice weather coming back?

Sean and I watched Thor yesterday. I didn’t think I was going to like it. But it was hard not to watch the yummy eye candy on tv. Then we went on to watch the Xmen. We actually saw that one in the theatre. But it was rainy, so why not?

The blood test came back. In a nutshell if my HGC level was under 2000 than I was either to early in the pregnancy or there might be something wrong. Over 2000 would allow for an ultrasound. My tests came back and I’m at 2600 So I have plenty of HGC in my system which is good, and it also means I have a high probability of hearing the heartbeat come the 30th!  So I finally got the confirmation I needed to hear. I am, in fact, pregnant!  The dr seems to think I’m about 5.5wks. With the high level of HGC I have a feeling I’m about 6-6.5 wks.

Next step in the Sonogram on the 30th. They should be able to get a better idea how far along I am then. So far the projected due date is May 19th 2012.

Can you believe all this is happening?

I also got a call from my landlord yesterday. It seems that there is a 2 bedroom apartment opening up in my complex. Not only does it have 2 bedrooms, but it also has a deck and a garage! Its only 130 more a month than what I”m paying. Only downfall is, I have to pay for heat. I don’t have to pay heat in the apartment i”m in now. Looks like we can move in by mid October! How awesome is that???!!!

Was a bit disappointing. I was expecting an internal examination, a bunch of questions, blood work etc.  The only thing they did was take some blood to test for a hormone level. Not sure which hormone. If its over 2000 I get a sonogram on the 30th. If its under 2000 than I go back for more blood work on Thursday. The Dr. doesn’t think its cancer. She says that its possible for Ovarian Cancer to throw a positive pregnancy test, its very rare.  She did seem concerned that I had a previous surgery on my cervix for cervical cancer a few years ago. Basically she said that will just have to monitor that. I’m not entirely sure what the issue can be, but she said that my cervix is damaged and scared from the surgery. She also says she thinks from the date of my last period that I’m about 5.5 wks along.

I really wish I had an absolute answer. While I feel much much much better about the cancer, I still don’t have a positive without a doubt yes on being pregnant. It seems the HPT are enough for the medical world. There is just alot of excited people involved in this, including myself. I hope everything goes right and I am pregnant.

So thats the updated news for today. Wish I could give more. I refused to walk out the door until someone stuck or probed me with something. Even though I hate needles and I’m known to passout at times getting a needle, I was alteast happy with that.  Though I don’t care what anyone says, its more than a damn pinch! Atleast the tech said she used a smaller needle lol.

Wow what a beautiful day today.  Didn’t get as many house chores done as I wanted too. Atleast the bedroom is put back together. New carpet was put down, walls painted. It was so nice to finally move the furniture out of the living room and back into the bedroom!

Today we decided to go do some target practice. Sean bought me a Smith and Wesson .38 Special revolver. So today was the first day I got to play with it. Unfortunately it kicked more than expected and that inimidates me.  I’m trying to figure out how to get over that.  Afterwards we decided to take the beagles over to his parents house and let them run in the pasture. The pasture has a nice fence around it. It was so cute to see the dogs running around like crazy enjoying the day and the freedom. Of course Bella found the only hole in the fence and tried to escape. Damn dog.

So now I”m working on grilling some steaks, making some potatoes and hopefully asparagus on the grill too.  Then I may try to tackle the living room. It still looks like a bomb went off in it. Or I may just skip that and put the beagles in the tub since they both rolled in something and now smell.

Nothing new with the baby news right now. Crampy still now and then. Not feeling as bloated either. I’m still extremely nervous about Tuesday. So tomorrow should really be a long day. Its a bit sad that the thought of having cancer has really effected everyone. The excitement everyone was feeling earlier last week has now gone away. Everyone is just waiting for the results of Tuesday. God knows I am.

This waiting for answers until Tuesday is just killing me. I’m so stressed out right now. Am I pregnant or is it Ovarian Cancer?   I know Tuesday is not that far away. But when your facing the probability of having cancer its so much scarier.  The thought of disappointing so many who are excited about a baby is even worse yet. I know my health is more important. But the thought of saying “Not pregnant after all, I have Ovarian Cancer instead” is just stressing me out to no end. I wish there was somewhere I can go NOW to find the answers.   I need to know NOW. 

I’ve lost all excitement over the possibility of being pregnant now to just straight fear.  Every thing going on with my body I’m scrutinizing.  From what mom is telling me, peeing alot and the bloating isn’t normal right now. Yet all the websites say it is. I don’t know what to think.  I know I’m peeing ALOT and very very bloated.  My stomach is also a bit sore today. Like I spent all night doing situps. Thats not suppose to be normal either. Yet some sites say it is. 

I’m so terrified right now that I can’t work, cant eat can’t sleep. Yet I’m suppose to wait until Tuesday for possible answers. I just want it over and one with. I think its ashame that medical offices make people wait so long. At this point I don’t even think I can call anyone to even get answers.

After a link my mother sent me yesterday on Ovarian Cancer, i’m now in freaked out stage. Did you know Ovarian Cancer and early pregnancy have the exact same symptoms?  How scary is that? It can even cause a false positive on the home pregnancy tests.

Unfortunately I didn’t know about this when I went to the doctors on Monday. All the doctor did was check my height, weight and blood pressure. I had gone in to have blood work done. But they advised me that the 3 positve pregnancy tests were good enough and they I really didn’t need a blood test, I should just make an OB appointment. What I failed to tell them was that I had a period in August. I forgot about it. I never thought I would be pregnant. So I have never been one to keep track of my cycle. Even have abnormal cycles now and then isn’t that strange for me. My last one was a little strange. But not strange for me. I wasn’t able to tell the doctor that. Had I told him that would he have given me a physical or something? Done something more to prove I was pregnant?

So now I have to wait until Sept 20 for my OB appointment to get any type of answers. Most likely I’ll have to wait for the answers too. Typical medical, you have to wait for everything. So until then I”m going to be on pins and needles worried that its cancer and not a baby.

As for symptoms today. I have been rather sleepless the last 2 days. My appetite has gone down too. I don’t eat much because I”m not hungry and when I do eat I feel full quickly. I’m suppose to take the vitamins on an empty stomach. So I did that this morning and then started feeling a bit queasy.  My butt has also decided to evacuate digested food rather quickly today. Could be stress, could be the damn vitamins.  I’m also not feeling as bloated today. Still crampy and it feels like I pulled a stomach muscle today.

Hopefully I’ll have more positive news in the near future.

I may as well start off with the initial Text conversation I had with my best friend leading up to the point of the story. By the time your done reading the text conversations I’m sure you will know the point of the story. Of course some parts have been left out or edited slightly. But for the most part this is what has transpired. Be aware some parts might be a bit graffic.

Sept. 7, 2011 22:04

Erika: I think I might have to go get a prego test.

Kim: Haha you’re funny!

Kim: Are you being serious?  You really think your prego? Are you late and sick?

Erika: Im serious. Ive been crampy and pms  like for 4 days. I don’t pms this long. I have all the symptoms of that time of the month but missing the punctuation.

Erika: Im beginning to wonder. Not sick. Running a bit late. Normally when I get the pms symptoms. It starts that day or the next. Its been 4 days

Kim: Wow! Yeah I would get a preggo!  Omg you will be my third friend preggo  this year.

Erika: Lots of headaches. Pee a lot. Sugar level issues. Fatigue.

Kim: That sounds like pregnancy sickness.

Kim: Holy crap, you might be having a baby.  YOU a mommy.  Scary.  Lol

Erika: I’m reading about early prego symptoms. It explains a lot. But im under a lot of stress at work too.

Kim: and it could be age as well.  The body changes so much after 30

Erika: I have never been crampy like this for this long without a period. I’m bloated.  Server mood swings.  Boobs hurt. All the PMS symptoms. It’s just last too long now.

 Sept. 7, 2011 22:15 

Erika: That it does! Which is why I think ill pee on a stick and rule prego out.  Easiest option first.  Wouldn’t that be messed up if I am?

Kim: Yeah, I don’t know. I would go to the pharmacy and get a test.  Does Sean know?

Kim: No way! I would have fun throwing you a baby shower. lol

Erika: I’ve had a lot of low sugar issues lately.  Way more than normal and pee constantly.

Kim: Those are preggo symptoms but like you said it could be stress.  Are you scared?

Erika: You’re the first I mentioned it to.

Kim: Aww, I feel special! I will keep it hush.  When will you take the test?

Erika: Going to get one tomorrow.

Kim: Please let me know?

Erika: Not really scared. Guess part of me doubts it. (had to remove some parts of the text do to the intirely TMI involved) 

Sept. 7, 2011 22:30

Erika:  You will be the first

Sept. 8, 2011 19:15
Kim: So what’s the good word?

Erika: Didn’t get a chance to do that.  Was up all night with the flooding part.  Then went into work for awhile.  Came home to pull the carpet up. 

Sept. 9, 2011 12:56

Erika: I got 3 tests. But I don’t have to pee! lol.

Kim: Tea will make you pee. lol

Erika: Good point! And why do they put the pregnancy tests with the condoms?

Kim: To say, “I bet you wish your ass had one of these!”. lol On a serious note, I have a strong feeling that it will be negative. It’s so weird because secretly I hope it’s positive (lol) but every part of me says no.

Erika: I think so too.

Kim: What do you really want it to be?

 Erika: Ummm

Kim: OMG is that positive?!?!?!  OMG!!!!

Erika: Think I’ll try that again.  But its showing positive. Im happy and freaked.

Kim: Erika, OMG!!! Congrats!!!!

Erika: I still kinda don’t believe it. But omg. Me? pregnant?

Kim: No more smoking and drinking for you mommy! Yay I am so happy for you!!! Hell just froze over!  If you need anything just let me know.  Be prepared to be sick for the next three months. lol

 Sept 9, 2011 13:30

Erika: I just called my mom.

Kim: And… She is thrilled, I bet!

Erika: She’s in shock and sounded excited

Kim: Aww! Wonder what Sean’s reaction will be?  Are you just going to hand him the stick and say surprise? Lol
Erika: I’m not sure how I’m going to tell Sean.  I don’t think he’s going to be mad or anything. I think he will be happy.

Kim: I think so too. I’m so excited and happy for the both of you!

Erika: Seriously OMG Kim!!

Kim: I hope not! Did you buy two different test?

 Sept. 9 2011 13:58

Erika: Box came with 3 sticks.  Maybe I should have bought a more expensive one lol. Do I tell Sean now? Or wait until I’m sure?

Kim: That’s a good question.  Personally, I think you should wait until you are sure and by all means buy a different stick.  If that’s pos than it’s time to go to the dr.

Sept. 9 2011 14:54

Erika: Pee test #2 positive.

Kim: Congrats!!!!

Erika: Wow. Me a mom. Time to make that dr apt.

Kim: Yes! The blood test will be 100%

Kim:  Of course no smoking, drinking and try to drink lots of cow mucus. lol  Any ideas of how far along you are?

Erika: This job is beyond stressful!  I aint drinking milk lol. Ewww.  OMG I might get boobs out of this!! Lol

Kim: ROFL you will def get boobs out of this. Lol

Erika: Not sure how far along. I  had a period last month.  So somewhere between there and now. Lol

Kim: The dr will be able to tell when you get your first sonogram.  Aww the babies first picture!

Erika: I honestly can’t believe I’m having this conversation!

Kim: I keep thinking someone is going to wake me up. I never would have thought you would settle down. Lol

Erika: Yeah. I just find all this hard to believe.

Kim: It’s an exciting change though.  Kids are such a wonderful blessing.  You will all of a sudden find yourself a family person.

Erika: I never thought I would be a mom to anything but dogs!

Kim: You are going to be a great mom!

Sept 9 2011 16:40

Erika: Trying to figure out how to tell Sean.

Kim: Take him shopping and go to the baby department. Or just sit the stick on his pillow.

Erika: LoL. Just wish I wasn’t sitting here dwelling on it! And I have a doc apt on Mon.

Erika: lolol

Kim: So do you want a boy or a girl? Ha! Watch it be twins. Lol

Erika: Both. Lol  Would love to see Sean do the father son stuff but I wouldn’t mind a girl to teach the horsey stuff too.

Kim: Aww I could see you doing that.

 Erika: I’m almost making myself sick about telling him. I had told him that it would be really hard for me to get prego.

Kim: Want me to tell him?  “Yo Sean.  Erika is sick because you knocked her up.  Congrats!!!” lol

Erika: lmfao

Erika: LMAO! Well im on my way home now. 

Erika: Total shock at first.  Now he seems to be excited and happy

Kim: Yay!!! Tell him I said Congrats!

Erika: hehe I’m glad he’s not mad.  Or upset with me. Even though I knew he wouldn’t be. I was still stressed about it.

Kim: I didn’t think he would be. This is so exciting! I can’t wait to find out when you are due. Lol  Really?

Erika: Its all we have been talking about now

Kim: lol tired of talking about it already?  I would imagine it’s all your going to be talking about for a long time to come. Lol

Erika: I’m still in shock.

Kim: “It’s a shock. I mean it’s you! “I’m never getting married.  Never having brats.” Lol

Sept: 10 2011 7:18

Erika: Yeah I think this might be a good indication

Kim: Uh yeah! I think its safe to say your preggo.

So this was the beginning of the next 9 mo of my life. Sean and I are both extremely happy and excited. From here on out I will be posting various news, info, how I’m feeling etc as often as I can. Some parts might be TMI and graphic (to an extent). So be prepared.  I’m looking forward to the adventure and sharing everything about it with my friends and family.

So to start off with the personal side of things. I’m feeling like a cow. I’m bloated beyond belief because my metabolism has I think shut down (they say slowed down, but considering I went from 140-150 in 3 mo…).  I feel like one big gas balloon right now. I’m crampy and moody and really don’t have much of an appetite. Oh, and this peeing thing every 15 mins?  Good thing they make soft toilet paper. I would probably be raw about now.  I’m guessing i’m somewhere between 4-6 weeks. But its amazing the changes my body is going through already.  The things I’m learning that I never thought I would learn. Did you know right now the child is about the size of an appleseed, but already has a heartbeat and the starts of a backbone and brain? How amazing is that?

So thats the updates for now. I”m sure I”m forgetting some things and may come back to edit when I remember them.